you just

you cna’t be real with people

because when you do

it’s like 

they don’t care

and it hurts

i mean, goddman, i don’t care about you

but i care about what you think of me

because if i am a monster in your mind

i can’t live with that??????

i don’t want to be remembered

i can’t concentrate, like this is all so fucking shitty, and i have assignments and projects and tests that I need to study for

i need to study

i can;t

there’s that feeling again

where the strangers that see me suck away at my will to do anything

“You’re disgusting”

“No one cares. And when they do, it’s only hate.”

i don’t like this feeling, where every single person that i barely know can be seen as enemies

I am happy with my friends

but everything about me

is wrong

it’s not right

it’s not who a human being should /be/

it  digs at me

slowly, friends are becoming enemies as well

friends, who think dirty, ugly thoughts about me, even when i know that it’s not true, my own thoughts are still there, because i’m a fuck up, i’m not needed, i hate this

I’m Weak. 

I can’t DO anytHING. I HATE who I aM. 




i die

and nothing changes

the world just needs me to make a mistake

accidentally walk in front of a truck

and the world

just keeps




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